the first time she showed me her scars, my mouth hanged open widely for like a minute or something. she noticed that and quickly pulled her sleeves over them, moving her arms away from me. i didn't even know how to react. i was only twelve years old back on those days.
i asked why because i didn't know what else to say and she told me that she deserve them. she told me she needed to feel the pain because that made her feel like she was in control of the situation. she was fourteen but for sure her soul was much older than that.
i asked why she deserved such a thing and she stood up right in front of me and lifted her top. she pinched her stomach and told me she was fat. she wasn't at all, but she saw it that way.
i told her that she was really really pretty for me and she started to cry. i was even more confused, so i hugged her and she kissed me. that was the moment when i realized how in love i was with her.
she made us lie in her bed and we stayed looking at the roof for hours. we didn't talk much that day. she didn't kiss me again, though. we only stayed just like that, quiet and silent until her mother entered to the room looking for me because my mother came for me.
i said goodbye to her and she smiled and she had the most beautiful smile i have ever seen. it has been ten years since that day and i still think the same. she hugged me and whispered in my ear to keep her secret.
and i did.